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It is dry. She needs water. She can not see. She is uncomfortable, this barely breathing cadaver. A tissue of skin. A scaffold of bone with her wild white hair, her jaundice, her rising scent of decomposition. She is aware of her helpless state, her parched lips and ancient form, but she is cut off from the world. It has been years since she could communicate, compose intelligible sounds… She can only lie here as she is, judge time from the shadows inside her unseeing eyes. Her back is stiff. That back of hers, she moves to speculate, must be speckled with age by now- the skin would be mottled and creased and thinned out like tissue paper. But who ever sees their own back? You never plan on it changing. There are bits of your body you carry around all your life but never really own. She supposes that if anyone owned her back, it was her late husband, as he was the only one ever to see it regularly. Even in old age she thinks of her husband at least once every day- something will.
'I'm not too early am I?' Her voice was nervous and as Len looked at her he could see she was shaking slightly. His nerves evaporated.'Are you alright Masie?' there was genuine concern in his voice. 'Come and sit down.' He took her arm and led her to the couch and repeated his question. 'Is anything wrong? Are you OK?'
She nodded and shook her head confused as to how to respond. She gave a nervous little laugh.'Yes I'm fine'.'Are you sure?' he said disbelievingly.
She nodded. 'Yes,' she paused, 'I'm just a bit nervous.'
'You? Nervous? I thought it would be just me.'
'Oh no,' she said, 'I didn't know how you would feel about it today. I had no idea if you would still want to and if I'm being honest I didn't know if I'd be able to go through with it.'
He laughed gently as he put his hand on hers. 'That makes two of us. I had exactly the same feelings and doubts myself and a couple of times I nearly knocked to give you some lame excuse about having to go out or something.' He looked.
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